I’ve recently been enjoying the audiobook Love is the killer app by Tim Sanders. I recommend it highly! I wanted to learn more about Tim, so I searched for his site and found timsanders.com. At first I was disappointed that he doesn’t have a blog (because of course I need more things to read—ha!), but then I discovered some great resources on his site. I just spent the better part of an hour watching a “video preview” promoting his next book, The likeability factor (you can find the video at the bottom of the About Tim page). Basically, your “likeability factor” is made up of four components. In case you don’t have time to watch it (heck, I probably wouldn’t have started watching it if I’d realized right away how long it was, but it was worth it!), here are my notes:

1. Friendliness
Communicating “I like you,” “I want to help you,” and “You”re welcome.”
Action step: Smile! Be willing to help people!

2. Relevance
Mattering to the people around you, the people with whom you interact regularly. Connect with peoples’ wants and needs.
Action step: Write down your interests and hobbies. Then write down the interests or hobbies of the person you want to connect with. Look for intersections; these are areas where you can be sincerely relevant to the other person.

3. Empathy
Receive messages about feelings; experience and show an interest in the feelings of others.
Action step: Give the other person more time to talk that you do. Ask, don’t tell. Don’t try to solve anything, just listen. Ask about feelings. Help identify the unmet need.

4. Keeping it real
Remember who you are, where you came from, and don’t violate that. Your personal mission statement; why are you here?
Action steps: Write a manifesto. Identify your values. Identify 12 events since you were a child that have defined you. Don’t give insincere praise. Moments of truth: Admit your mistakes; be fully engaged when you’re with someone; be generous with yourself (show passions and emotions).